Doing Your Own Divorce: 8 Steps & Tips to Prepare Yourself

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Tip 6 — Trusting yourself comes from taking all the right steps in sequence. Then you can make the right decisions at the right time.

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Defining your priorities and values at the beginning of your divorce sets the foundation for the decisions you make at every stage. Do the work, then trust that you have done it with integrity and honor. Come on! Burning the clothes. Kidnapping the cat. Slashing the tires. We all have it in us to be vengeful, and sometimes we think revenge tastes good. Tip 7 — Think again! Do you really want that type of karma? Let karma do the dirty work while you stand tall, with your head held high.

DIY (do-it-yourself) divorce or dissolution

Going through all the common stages of divorce is a transformation in itself. People behave differently as a couple than they do on their own. Just be prepared to wonder who you have become.

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Be an objective observer, evaluating yourself without judgment. What would you say? Did you know you were so resilient? Which parts of you could you improve remember, no judging. Be honest and neutral. Stage 9 is the sum of all the stages, where you discover the new you and the direction you want to take in your life. How can you fully embrace the new you?


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Tip 9 — Whether you want it or not, a new you has surfaced through these stages of divorce, and believe me, you want to rejoice. Say goodbye to the old and surrender to the new! You are you, your own individual. These are magical moments of self-discovery. Invest the time in nurturing yourself and making your new life happen. There is nothing average about you. Trust yourself, respect yourself, and above all fall in love with the new you.

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Manual Doing Your Own Divorce: 8 Steps & Tips to Prepare Yourself

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During my divorce, it became obvious to me that I had lost the essence of myself in my marriage. Like many women, I was a people pleaser who spent a lot of energy trying to comfort and appease others — neglecting my own needs. As a result, I often put my needs last.

What is a do-it-yourself divorce or dissolution?

In the process, I compromised too much and was left feeling like I had morphed into someone else. Learning to trust yourself and developing self-love is an inner journey which involves examining your past from a fresh perspective. Take the time to examine how your relationships have played themselves out, and lessons you have learned from the experience. Try not to wallow in self-pity for too long. Regaining your sense of humor can help you accept yourself and to transform your life after divorce. Over time, you will get out from under the shadow of your ex and restore self-confidence.

Believing in yourself is crucial to building relationships based on mutual respect, integrity, and honesty. Follow Terry on Twitter , Facebook and movingpastdivorce.

Please email Terry at terry movingpastdivorce. Home Blog Contact Us. Here are 8 steps to reclaiming your authenticity after divorce: Become more self-aware of past patterns and self-defeating messages. Develop a mindset that relationships are our teachers.

Divorce can be viewed as a catalyst for personal growth. Counseling, blogging, and reading can aid you in this process of self-awareness — the first step to change. Instead, develop a healthy response to errors in judgment or failing. Practice forgiving yourself and your ex for your divorce. Take good care of yourself.